How To Begin Saving Your Marriage Starting Today
With Valentine's day setting in, the heavy burden of knowing that you need to do something and do it now to save your marriage begins to really sink in. With so much love in the air, it can seem even more hopeless to except the reality that your marriage could actually be ending, while everyone else seems in such high spirits. But, don't let this deter you from taking the steps even now to save your marriage. It can still be saved, you just have to know where to start and hopefully this will help you.
For now, let's just go with all of the love that seems to fill the air around you and not let your situation weigh on anyone else and/or including yourself. In fact, it might do you wonders, regardless of your situation to actually let that same spirit fill you up just as well. Go ahead and do something for someone else to show them that you care, whether it be your mom, your dad, aunt, cousin, sister, brother or children. Embrace this time to give and receive some of that love in the air, it will help you more than you think.
Now let's get down to business, you may think your marriage is hopeless at this point as far as being able to save it, but it's not. What's not going to be saved, and it's better that you realize this now is the way things used to be. What happens in marriages that begin to fail is that something has changed in the marriage that once held the both of you together. Something has come between the both of you and has built up to this moment. As the old saying goes, you keep doing the same and your going to get the same results that you have been getting.
Here in lies 90% of the problem usually. What most of us fail to recognize is that our tried and true old methods of getting what we want out of the relationship aren't going to work anymore. You have to totally change how you approach saving your marriage at this point. None of the tricks or things that used to work are going to work at this point. You have to change the way you think, the way you behave, the way you react, the way you speak and the way you set up conversations about the marriage so that they'll yield a positive result towards saving your marriage.
And, this is the real struggle of it all. You really don't know how to do any of that. Let's be honest. I'll be the first to admit it.. But, that is why having a plan and laid out course of action becomes so important. You have to know how to do these things in order to save your marriage. Without knowing the ins and outs of how to save your marriage, then you're really just taking a gamble that what you think might work is going to work. And, I'm not sure it's a bet you'd care to wager, given the potential consequences. Saving your marriage really boils down to getting control of your emotions and having a good plan. Both of which are equally vital to saving your marriage.
Is there a way to save your marriage when your spouse says it's over? This is a question that has been asked over and over by people who are facing a divorce that they don't want. I was faced with this exact situation a few years ago in my own marriage. I made an important discovery that helped me to save my marriage, even though my wife had originally told me she wanted a divorce. It really works but it isn't anything that you will hear from a typical marriage counselor. I'd really encourage you to read this and think about it very carefully. Your actions over the next few days and weeks will be critical towards saving your marriage.
I was devastated when I first got the shocking news. I was caught completely off guard and didn't have a clue what to do. And so I did what most people in the same situation do: I acted on emotion and desperation. I made all the common mistakes that I should have avoided, if only I'd known better! I was reaching out to my wife, trying to convince her that the marriage could be saved, trying to show her how much I loved her. It was all backfiring on me!
The discovery I made after I had nearly given up hope changed everything for me. I learned about the common mistakes that will doom a troubled marriage every time. I learned to not let my negative emotional state guide my decisions, actions and responses. I learned how to act calmly & confidently. I learned what to do, what to say and how to act. The things that I learned and began doing actually started to create meaningful change in my marriage. Amazingly enough, it was working even though my wife was not an active participant at first!
The thing to remember if you are trying to save your marriage when your spouse says it's over is that you need a plan. The problem for most people is that they get desperate and clingy, or angry and jealous, or any other variety of negative emotions that cause them to screw things up even worse
It can be a frustrating task searching for answers on how to go about saving your marriage. The main problem is learning where to start and even harder is taking it upon yourself to start when you're not quite sure whether or not any of it is truly going to help. But, don't let your fear of failure hold you back at such a critical time, start taking back control of your marriages destiny by taking the leap of faith needed to save it. It's time to roll up your sleeves and get to work saving your marriage one step at a time beginning here.
The first thing you need to do is decide right now you're committed to seeing this through and through no matter how grim or hopeless it may look in the process. It's going to be filled with a lot of ups and downs I can guarantee you that. But, you have to remain focused and committed to following through. Without total commitment to saving your marriage, there really isn't much hope. You can't expect to save your marriage if you're only seeing things through half way.
The second thing is to remain and gain back control over yourself as soon as you can. This means that you have to start carefully minding what you're saying and doing at any given time. Every time a situation presents itself in which you find yourself in the midst of a heated battle or discussion over the marriage, tread carefully. Just because your spouse is flying off the handle or hitting below the belt so to speak, keep your calm. Instead of reacting based off of your emotions and saying things or doing things that just make it all worse, think about the ramifications first of what your about to say and do. This way you keep yourself from damaging your already fragile marriage further with such uncontrollable outbursts.
Finally, and this is probably the hardest pill to swallow so to speak, is having enough character about yourself to drop your pride and except the fact that you need help https://www.bettermarriage.com.au/. Let me ask you, have you ever been through this before? Have you saved enough marriages in your life time to know exactly what it is you need to do to save your marriage? My guess is NO. None of us were ever given a "how to" at the alter or after we were married on what to do if such a situation should occur. In fact, the very thought was unmentionable at the time. So, how do you know what to do exactly to save your marriage? It starts with finding a good plan to save it. One that will guide you as to the best course of action to take and also what not to do so you can prevent from damaging your marriage further.
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